Rudies in wonderland
by Alastor Sparda
Summary: A bit of a crack fic. Beat wakes up to find himself in some wierd place. Is this for real or did he just eat some bad brownies? some ooc, moderate swearing and a bad wardrobe change review if you want.


**Rudies in wonderland.**

_**Chapter one: The Rabbit Hole.**_

It was a nice calm day. Beat was lying against a tree, which was near a bank, as he picked himself off of the floor, and dusted off his clothes. He then stopped, suddenly after hitting the realization that he wasn't wearing men's clothes anymore. He glanced at his reflection in the water; he was in dress with a blonde wig on -his normal clothes hidden, badly, underneath- and his headphones was seated upon his head on top of the wig, covering his usual red hair and he still had his glasses on.

Beat was very perplexed as to why he was cross dressing, but what concerned him the most was that his clothes had been changed while he was asleep, well at least he had his old clothes underneath, so he knew the culprit wasn't a complete and total pervert.

Perhaps this was an elaborate joke?

Had Clutch drugged him and thrown him in the middle of nowhere to suffer the humiliation of being a cross dresser? He didn't remember accepting any food or drink from anyone like that…

So why was he dressed like this?

Beat would have probably sat down and thought about it if it weren't for Potts, who was, at the moment, bipedal. Potts adjusted the glasses he was wearing and pulled a pocket watch out of his vest.

"I'm late!" he exclaimed

"Potts?" Beat was really confused by the fact that the dog just spoke. Potts didn't bother to turn and look at Beat; he merely ran towards a tree and jumped into the rabbit hole.

Beat was now VERY confused, first the dog was talking and now it was running into a rabbit hole. Was this world going insane? "Better go get the dog or Yoyo won't shut up until it comes back." He thought to himself as he slowly walked towards the tree, he bent over and peered into the hole.

It was completely dark and he couldn't see anything, no matter how much his eyes adjusted, there was nothing to be seen, the hole was just too deep.

"Potts! Come here you stupid mutt!" he yelled. There was no response.

"Come here you FUCKING WASTE OF SPACE!" Beat wasn't feeling very patient about this, he just wanted to get back to the garage and beat the happy crap out of whoever was responsible for this.

Beat slowly began to inch further into the hole, until there was no more ground, and thus –logically- there was no where to stand or crawl. Beat was suddenly falling down, he could now see everything, it was a long drop down and the walls were covered in shelves.

There were various items strewn around the shelves, like spray cans, paper, a bottle of wine, a compass and a book; there was even a graffiti soul.

Beat was slowly plummeting and there was nothing to do, he had no idea how long he had been in there and had not thought to check his watch.

Beat silently gazed at all the items strewn around, he reached out for a jar of orange marmalade.

"This sucks, the first edible item I see and there isn't even anything like…bread to go with it."

He threw it -he was in a particularly foul mood right now- the jar began to fall at a faster rate than he did, and it took a few seconds for the sound of a smashing jar to register. He gazed down to see the ground, he was beginning to fall faster and he yelped as his posterior came in contact with a pile of leaves and twigs. He groaned and rubbed his behind.

"This is all that stupid mutt's fault!" he complained. He glanced to his side at the edge of the haystack, there, was the now smashed bottle of marmalade; all of its sticky contents scattered across the floor. He got up, just in time to see Potts run into the door ahead.

"You're not getting away from me you circus freak!" He yelled as he skated to the door.

He opened the door and Potts was nowhere to be seen, or at least somewhere where his eyes couldn't reach. Beat gazed around the room. It was decorated like one of those old houses, it was not exactly fancy, but it had its charms.

He skated to the table and sat down, in front of him was a drink and –for some unknown reason- "Drink me BITCH!" was labeled on the can, in gold, calligraphic writing.

Beat shrugged to himself.

'Why not' he thought to himself 'If I'm stuck in this hell hole I may as well'

He took a sip, it was nice, sweet and fizzy, but not like anything he had tasted. It was weird. God only knew what the hell they had put in this thing to make it taste like that.

Next thing Beat realized was that the table and seat –he was sitting on- were colossal, as well as the rest of the room and he was VERY, VERY small.

"And that's why you don't take drink or food from strangers" he mumbled to himself as he mentally smacked himself.

He had no idea what the hell he had just taken but whatever it was, it must've been strong to have this affect. It MUST HAVE BEEN REALLY STRONG.

Beat had no idea what to do, he looked around for a second and then he spotted a cake. It was also labeled in golden calligraphy like the first, but this time it said "Eat me you stupid ho"

Beat's eyebrow twitched. Why was everything labeled with insulting messages?

Beat shrugged and took a slice. "Man this must be some fucked up brownie"

He then sniffed it. It smelt normal, but that could just be the stuff he drunk earlier.

His stomach growled.

"AH, FUCK IT!" he took the biggest bite that he could out of it; he didn't take any note of the taste, besides the fact that it was sweet. A second later his head hit the ceiling.

"Son of a bitch!"

He rubbed his head. He then turned, knocking the table. Then a large jug of water tipped over and drenched Beat's dress and the floor.

"This looks like something I've seen before…" Beat muttered. "So if the cake makes you bigger, then the…DRINK MAKES YOU SMALLER!" he took the drink and took another sip. Unfortunately, however, he drunk a bit too much and was back to the size that he was previously.

Beat landed in the puddle from the previously spilt water and for some reason the puddle was bigger than the capacity of the jug –it was waist deep! He then moved towards someone who looked awfully familiar.

"Rhyth?"

"Huh?"

She jumped suddenly, landing on her bottom. She was in an animal costume; it was a mouse costume in fact, complete with the ears. Beat helped her up.

"RHYTH IT'S YOU!"

Beat was so happy to see someone who wasn't a talking animal with a pocket watch. So happy, that he might almost hug them.

"What's Rhyth?" she blinked and looked puzzled

"…"

Beat gave her a blank expression and scratched his head; damn the wig was itchy. "You're Rhyth!" he said

She blinked again "I'm not rhyth! I'm mouse!"

"You're what now?"

"MOUSE!" she said cheerily

"Oh…"

_**A/N: I'm ending the chapter here, for now at least. I know my grammar isn't perfect and Beat may be quite a bit out of character. I haven't played JSRF in a couple of years so…**_

_**Second story for me, and I know I've made much improvement, I had friends beta this time. I'm aware that there is some OOCness here. But it's been years since I've played the game.**_

_**Well this is Alastor Sparda signing out.**_


End file.
